One of the most painful reasons for a break-up occurs when one member of the relationship has been cheating. Even if the person cheating has admitted to having had an affair or a one-night stand, it can be very difficult and sometimes impossible to recover a relationship when the truth comes out, as extensive damage is often caused.
If your partner’s behavior has changed dramatically, or you fear that the relationship has taken a change, suspecting your wife of cheating is a reasonable assumption – particularly if they are showing some of the signs we discuss here. Read on to learn more about some of the tell-tale signs that indicate your wife may be cheating on you.
- The ‘7-year itch’
There are numerous pieces of research to suggest that, after 7 years, a partner is more likely to cheat. Boredom can easily creep in to mundane routines, and this can cause your wife to look elsewhere. Though it may be a coincidence, having spent 7 years together could have caused an ‘itch’ and if your partner’s behavior seems to have unexpectedly changed, this could be down to her having an affair.
- Change of routine
Routines naturally change from time-to-time, but if your wife is getting home from work, cracking open a bottle of wine, and then going immediately upstairs for a shower or bath, this could be a sign that she is cheating on you. Consider asking her why she is washing as soon as she gets in; could this be a sign of some extra activities at the office?!
- She spends more time alone
Does your wife insist on making shopping or other journeys alone? Do you feel sidelined or isolated from her in some way? If so, your wife could be using the time she is spent alone to contact other people, have an affair, or to think about her relationships on her own. One reason for this is she could be deciding whether or not the relationship with you (or the person with whom she is having an affair) should continue. Naturally, everybody needs some space to think from time to time, but is her behavior out of character?
- Lack of patience
When someone is having an affair, they often have many things going on in their heads. Perhaps they are thinking about how to finish with you, or how they can leave the house to meet the other person in secret. Typical emotions that come with this line of thinking include guilt, anxiety and depression. How will you notice these emotions? One way is through your partner’s behavior. For example, she might be irrationally snapping at you more regularly, or have become a bad sleeper – up at night thinking or worrying. Though these are potential signs of an affair, take care not to mix these emotions with other causes such as stress at work or in other areas of her life.
- She works late
Though this has become a cliché, working late is a sign that your wife could be having an affair. After all, where else would she get the time to have an additional relationship? As so many couples begin by meeting in the workplace, it is a reasonable assumption to make – particularly if other signs are being displayed too. Once more, try not to see this sign as something it is not; many people have a work ethic where they put in extra time to complete a job or to make a good impression.
- Privacy with technology
Technology has erupted into our lives in recent decades, and it is now common for households to multitask using various forms of technology together (e.g. watching tele whilst texting). As such, routine behaviors with technology almost become part of a person’s identity. But this sign focusses more at the behavior being demonstrated, and how much privacy your wife insists on.
If she is constantly looking at Facebook, walks out of the room when an incoming call comes in, or has a social media account with a photograph of herself as the main profile picture, it could be a sign that your wife is having an affair or portraying to the world that she is single. If she is cheating on you, she might rapidly turn her phone off when you enter the room, or move away from you so that you can’t see what she is doing. Just be confident that she is not organizing a nice surprise for you when you start having suspicions!
- Surprise gifts
‘What has he done’ is regularly quoted when women receive flowers as a gift, but it works the other way too. A key sign of a person feeling guilty is when they bring home unexpected gifts, or start treating you to things they never used to. Look out for this sign, particularly if they have been away from home for a while as it could be providing the moral balance in their heads; making things up to you without directly saying.
- Unusual comments about other women
When someone is cheating, they sometimes try to justify their behavior by normalizing affairs, or making it known that looking at other people is natural. If she starts making unusual comments such as “look how hot that woman is” or “she’s eying you up’” – she might be trying to manipulate you into thinking that it is ok to imagine being with another partner. Once she has you thinking that, it wouldn’t become so much of a surprise to you if she is exhibiting the same behavior and having an affair.
What to do if you suspect
There are options available to you if you suspect your wife of cheating. You could come straight out and ask them. Or, if you think that this would jeopardize the relationship too much, you could look out for other signs. Social media, abnormal behaviors and other extreme emotions could provide extra evidence.
However, you could also use a records finder to make enquiries. There are now extensive records collected on much of the US population; records that are probably more attainable than you realize. Think carefully about the impact of each option before making your decision and try not to jump to any unnecessary conclusions which could result in more pain.
