BT boss only man in his village with broadband

Red-faced spin doctors at mega British telco BT have admitted the company’s chairman is the only person in his home village who can get broadband.

Other residents of the Oxfordshire village of Hambleden were told they could not have broadband because of their distance from the exchange, adding that, mysteriously, chairman Sir Michael Rake’s home was part of ‘a new technology trial’ and that ‘there is nothing unusual in this situation’.

TG Daily, however, adds that BT is obviously talking crap and that its chairman is clearly receiving preferential treatment.

But ten out of ten for the BT spin paramedic who kept a straight face when saying: “BT has learned a lot through the trial the chairman participated in and hopefully those lessons will benefit the residents of Hambleden in due course. 

“The lines between the village and the exchange are simply too long to support a broadband service.”

Details of the technological miracle enabling one lucky Hambledenonian to receive a broadband service which apparently defies the laws of physics remain a mystery, which is a bit of a shame because BT could probably make some money out of it.

There are still three million homes in the UK either with no broadband or with speeds of less than 2Mbps. This figure obviously doesn’t contain any senior BT executives. That would be silly.