It won’t stay dead: Microsoft’s talking paper clip returns

Microsoft must have a really sick sense of humor because they have announced that they are bringing back the much-hated talking paper clip.

According to CNN, Microsoft has decided to resurrect “Clippy” even though it was one of the most unpopular things Microsoft has ever created.


It’s no surprise that this news sort of fell through the cracks because of the Bin Laden kill. As one YouTube commenter said: “As one force of evil dies this week, so rises another from the grave to even out the balance.”


Too true my friend, too true. 


A whole generation of office users had to endure one of creepiest anthropomorphic freak shows of all time courtesy of Microsoft. And now they are digging him up like Jason Voorhees.


It may have been forgotten by most, but many Office users used to cringe when the Microsoft cartoon delivered cheerily obvious messages like: “It looks like you’re writing a letter.” Computer users had finally gotten over the painful memories of Clippy’s watchful googley eyes only to have Microsoft reopen the wounds.


Even though he (she, it?) was killed off before the emergence of Facebook his memory still inspires hateful messages on the social media website: “I know I’m writing a f-ing letter, you stupid paperclip,” one traumatized user wrote on a Facebook page dedicated to Clippy’s demise.


But there is a bit of good news: You don’t have to deal with him if you don’t want to.


Microsoft has decided to revive him in limited fashion as part of a learn-how-to-use-Office game called “Ribbon Hero 2: Clippy’s Second Chance.” Sure, he may be weak right now, but evil always finds a way to regain its terrorizing power. It will be like the scientists in Jurassic Park thinking that they could actually contain T-Rex; they will live to regret it.


The game is something you download to learn how to use Office, if you want to. Clippy takes people through challenges in this game, but he doesn’t show up automatically in Word, PowerPoint or Microsoft’s other Office apps.


One of the reasons Office users got so annoyed at the paper clip in the past was because he would appear unexpectedly when they were trying to work. And how can anyone work with those horrible eyes staring at you?


Microsoft’s description of “Ribbon Hero 2” is starting conversations online:


“Yes, we turned Office into a game! If you’re going to spend time immersed in the inner workings of Office, by golly it should be fun. In Ribbon Hero 2, you’ll hop on board Clippy’s stolen time machine and explore different time periods. With each time period, you get to explore a new game board with challenges you must complete to get to the next level.”


Stolen time machine? Do you like how they snuck that in there like it’s no big deal? Can you imagine what horrible acts an entity of pure evil could commit with a time machine?


There’s also a video about Clippy’s return. Watch it if you dare.