iPod, iPhone get blessing of God Almighty

Steve Jobs, sometimes called the Blessed Steve Jobs or Saint Jobs of Cupertino, has had the blessings of God bestowed upon all his works and trumps.

A story in today’s Times of London relates how the Reverend Canon David Parrott bestowed the blessings of God from the pulpit in the church of St Lawrence Jewry.

The good Reverend is said to have uttered the immortal line: “May our tongues be gentle, our emails be simple and our websites be accessible.”

The minister is basing his blessings on an old blessing based on Plow Monday, when workers would bring their spades, shovels and ploughs to be blessed by God.

On his altar, the Times said, were modern implements of our times including four smartphones, a Dell and an Apple laptop.

The Lord Mayor of London offered his BlackBerry to be blessed by Canon Parrott while the rest of the congregation held their phones up aloft.

“By Your blessing, may these phones and computers, symbols of all the technology and communication in our daily lives be a reminder to us that you are a God who communicatures with us and who speaks by your Word. Amen.”

We don’t think he meant Microsoft Word. You couldn’t make it up. The Times is here.