Games ‘permit’ over-eating, drug abuse and murder, reveals shock survey

Following on from a study into First Person Shooters allowing and even encouraging gamers to commit war crimes, the Centre for Action against Crimes and Killing (CACK) has found in extensive tests that the horrors available to casual players go far beyond a simple atrocity here or there.

A group of dedicated researchers was shocked to find players are encouraged to commit virtual acts of crime across a wide platform of genres and consoles spanning a number of decades. A cited example was Breakout, in which players can break bricks with a computerized ball. Since its controversial introduction in 1976, youth vandalism rates have risen dramatically up and down the country.

CACK’s research doesn’t end there: in a popular series of games, gamers playing as a scantily clad woman are strongly encouraged to burgle ancient tombs and crypts, and even to shoot wolves and dinosaurs.

Other controversial games tested by CACK include Burgertime, thought to relate to the rise of child obesity, Q*bert, which allegedly encourages dangerously jumping down stairs, and Mario Bros, where players can headbutt bricks and turtles.

Professor John Potty, Director at CACK, said in a statement: “The kind of completely morally reprehensible behaviour that goes on in these ‘Video Games’ is frankly a shocking travesty, and it has been going on under our noses all this time. We at CACK think our youths have been corrupted long enough, and it’s time we outright ban everything.”

“It is even thought that the rise in piracy off the Horn of Africa can be attributed to The Curse of Monkey Island. Players can control a virtual pirate called Guybrush Threepwood, who openly glamorises piracy.”

TG Daily took to the streets of London to find out your opinion. Raoul Rudd, of Brockley, told us what he thinks: “This is absolutely shocking to me. Even my favourite newspaper, The Daily Mail, covers computer games. I did some research and it turns out my rough local pub, The Dog’s Dinner, has had a ‘Street Fighter’ arcade computer game available to play for fifty pence. It seems once the locals have a taste for it, they go on to do real fighting on real streets.”

Do you agree with Professor Potty’s statements and think we should ban everything? Leave your comments below.