Duke Nukem frags Android in 3D

Ah, yes. Duke Nukem 3D. Now that takes me back some years. Well, to 1996, to be exact, when I first played the game on my Pentium Pro PC. You see? 1996 wasn’t only memorable because Metallica sold out (again) with Load.

Obviously, many years have passed since then, with Moore’s Law marching steadily forward, and so I’m not exactly shocked that the once-controversial title will soon be available on Android smartphones and tablets.

After all, it was only a matter of time, as ‘Nukem 3D has been in Apple’s (iOS) App store for ages. But yes, Tapjoy and MachineWorks NorthWest have teamed up to port the iconic game to Android.

As you old-timers undoubtedly recall, Duke Nukem 3D is a classic, FPS (first-person shooter) game set in Los Angeles sometime in the early 21st century. Players get to use increasingly sophisticated weapons as they attempt to defeat aliens and mutated humans trying to take over the world.

Although the game is beloved by countless millions now, its initial reception generated a predictably loud and extremely exaggerated reaction from prudish critics, overbearing parent groups and clueless politicians.

“Duke Nukem 3D moves the ‘shooter’ through pornography stores, where Duke can use XXX sex posters for target practice. Duke throws cash at a prostituted woman telling her to ‘shake it, baby’ his gun ever ready,” a Media Watch writer wailed way back in the 90’s.

“In the game bonus points are awarded for the murder of these mostly prostituted and partially nude women. Duke blows up stained glass windows in an empty church or goes to strip clubs where Japanese women lower their kimonos exposing their breasts. Duke is encouraged to kill defenseless, often bound women.”

Unsurprisingly, a number of stuffy countries moved to block the Duke in all his sexist and macho glory, stipulating that censored versions of the games be put on store shelves in lieu of an outright ban.

The controversy also prompted 3D Realms to repackage the game with a parental lock permanently set to “on,” although a freely available patch allowed users to unlock the game and play the uncensored version.

Duke Nukem 3D will be available “very soon” for any Android smartphone or tablet device running version 2.1 and up via the Android Market, or online here.