This has been the greatest week ever because we get to write about affairs, and scorned wives, and hottie home wrecker babes. And this story is not going away because apparently lesbians are now involved in a conspiracy that reaches the lowest levels of journalism. I kid you not!
The story so far:
1. Sergey Brin, 40, co-founder of Google, is splitting from his wife, Ann Wojcicki. He has been busy of late wearing his Google Glasses everywhere and annoying the world with the possibility that we will all be recorded by douches in public restrooms.
2. Ann Wojcicki, 40, is the sister of Susan Wojcicki, who gave Google it’s first workspace in her garage and was one of its first hires and is a Senior VP there. She is also co-founder of 23andMe, a biotech start-up that, would you know it, got its first funding from Google Ventures.
3. Amanda Rosenberg, 27, who is now presumed to be Brin’s babe on the slide, apparently used to date another Google executive, Hugo Barra. She was, until Google moved her from her job this week, on the Google Glass marketing team. Apparently, she coined the phrase, “Ok Glass,” to activate the dastardly device.
4. Hugo Barra just left Google to go join Chinese mobile start-up Xiaomi. Xiaomi is to smartphones what ShamWow is to cleaning products, according to the competition, or it is the Chinese reincarnation of Apple, according to the Huffington Post. The Huffington Post is wrong about everything so, Xiaomi may be in deep doo doo. I am not making this stuff up.
5. Kara Swisher, who broke the news on AllThingsD, is married to Megan Smith, a Google executive who is close to Ann Wojcicki. Ann may have slipped the news of her predicament to the world as a result through this association thereby giving herself the chance to get ahead of the story and make Sergey look stupid.
6. Eric Schmidt has loads of girlfriends and is still married. That has nothing to do with this story but I am on a roll. Billionaires do not have any effs to give.
7. Ewan Butler, 28, a trainee teacher living with his parents in Darlington, is a former boyfriend of Rosenberg the hottie. He told the Daily Mail: ‘Amanda’s a good looking girl, and she knows she is. And she’s good at “playing” men – she played me.’ Ooh, burn!
Did I not tell you that this was an awesome week. We have an epic situation here that has been continuously trending on Google News, no less. Which implies that Google’s algorithms are pissed at Sergey, or that someone at Google is jealous they didn’t get their Google Glass demo set.
In reality, this means nothing.
Nothing other than the fact that if you have money, you can be a troll living under a bridge eating billy goats for a living AND you’d still get to mack on any baby you want AND score. It also means that if you marry a billionaire you may have a shelf-life that may or not be somewhere in the 10 year range but the upshot is that no matter how scorned you may feel, you will always be rolling in dough and that unlike other divorcees, you will not have to worry about online dating photos or the fact that you are over 40, have 2 kids and the pool of eligible men is now a bunch of really old billionaires.
The hottie, unfortunately, will either end up like Monica Lewinsky or Wendy Murdoch. Either way, even though the girl is, the end is not pretty. Or, just maybe, she ends up like one of the most famous mistresses of the 20th century…..