LulzSec in anti-Jester slapdown

Lulz Security has released an official communiqué criticizing a rival hacker known as the The Jester (aka th3j35t3r).

The gray hat hacktivist – who is thought to be a former US soldier – previously claimed responsibility for attacking a number of websites, including WikiLeaks, 4Chan and various jihadist networks.

“Jester has declared war on terrorism for 18 months, but we’re not seeing a single scrap of insider terrorist information on his twitter or blog. As far as we can tell, there have been zero real terrorists apprehended or harmed in any way because of Jester,” said the Lulz Boat.

“If anything, Jester’s extremely limited attacks are only giving more attention to sites nobody would know existed if he didn’t try to DoS them. He’s probably responsible for training more terrorists than stopping existing ones.”

According to LulzSec, Jester’s strategy of downing jihadist websites to “filter terrorists” to other “terrorist” networks is inherently flawed. 

“[For example], if we declared war on obese people, hitting local state Pizza Hut websites for 30 minutes at a time isn’t going to filter the fatties to Burger King websites for herding.

“It also isn’t going to make fat people think twice about eating at Pizza Hut, because, much like terrorist training grounds, Pizza Hut is a physical place where people can walk into. And sometimes out of, with a full belly or bomb strapped to their asses.”

The group also speculated that Jester seems “pretty bored” with his self-declared campaign, as it continues to “drag out” after 18 months of “doing nothing.”

“His first ever tweet was so full of vigor – it even said ‘PWNED’ in it, nice and big in those glorious, anti-terrorist caps. And now his ambitions are so dead he has to jump on the current trends to get attention; WikiLeaks, Westboro Baptist Church, even us over at Lulz Security. 

“Hell, we’ve only existed for 2 months, and this pastebin is going to get more views and publicity for Jester than everything he’s had since 2009 combined. Maybe this will encourage actual anti-terrorist folks to do something useful? We don’t approve of those bomb-tossers much either, despite explosions being pretty.”

Finally, LulzSec chided Jester for for his “horrible coding” skills, which were allegedly outed when the rival hacker wrote a “lame” PHP portscan script.

“It scans our old Malaysian host’s netrange to see if our real server is in it. Nice try bro, but we switched to a USA host over a month ago. Also, ever heard of nmapping? Taking a closer look, we see that your script also fails in that it directly connects to the IP without telling the server that the host is

“Also, in our nginx configuration, we deny all HTTP connections to unknown vhosts. Silly, silly man… your code makes two connections to the same site to check for ‘lulz’; one to check that the site is online, and ANOTHER one to download the page. [Now] that’s [just] embarrassing.”