God hates hackers, says Westboro pastor

Those entertainingly extremist religious nutters at the Westboro Baptist Church say they’re being attacked by Anonymous – but Anonymous says it’s doing nothing of the sort.

The church, headed by Fred Phelps, is best-known for its catchy claim that God Hates Fags, along with anti-Jewish protests and pickets of military funerals.

It claims to have received a warning from the hacking group that its servers were to be attacked. Calling the group ‘coward crybaby hackers’ and ‘pimple-faced nerds’, it’s now amended its famous catchphrase to read ‘God hates fags and lousy hackers’.

Funny that he chose only to tell a group of frothing lunatics rather than, say, Jesus, but there you go.

But a posting on the Anonymous website says that, while the group does indeed loathe the church, it hasn’t dug up enough dirt to merit a raid yet – and in any case it”s awfully busy.

“Sure, they’re loud-mouthed assholes who brainwash their children into hating everyone that isn’t in their church,” it says.

“Let’s figure out what they’re hiding and publicize the hell out of it. If we attack them because we hate their message, it will only publicize their radical views even more.”

Indeed, given that the church points out that an attack would deliver ‘a tsunami of coverage to Westboro’s message’, there’s some suspicion that the church invented the Anonymous threats itself.

In an open letter to the church, members of Anonymous comment: “Our best guess is that you heard about us on that newfangled TV of yours and thought we might be some good money for your little church.”

And they warn other Anonymous members: “It’s a trap. They’ve got their ports wide open to harvest ISPs to sue. Don’t DDoS, and boycott Operation Westboro. If you really want to continue messing with them, just send them a few male prostitutes and faxes of Goatse.”