Qualcomm’s amazing tech could even get Martha Stewart a date

I’m at Qualcomm’s Developer conference this week and, as you’d expect, the corporation is presenting a massive amount of technology. 

Examples include devices that can fully automate your home and entertainment system to inexpensive Wi-Fi router components designed to increase your cell phone data rate, over WAN, by 1,000x (actually they could go to 2,000x but thought 1,000 was a more believable number).  

However, one of their most subtle technologies was something that could even get Martha Stewart a date. “Why Martha Stewart?” you ask. Well, I watch the Today Show and have been on it a few times and apparently she is on the hunt for a man to sleep with. (Yes, she seriously said that). And the Today Show has taken on the challenge of getting Martha Stewart a date likely sponsored by Match.Com – a service she almost used, at least according to the interview.  

The technology that could help with this kind of a problem is something called LTE Direct and it was actually designed to get you a date. Let me explain. 

Martha Stewart’s Problem

Martha Stewart is in my age group and guys in my age group kind of like it when women make less than they do or (this is a nice way of saying we tend to be a tad insecure), if they are really rich, seem to have a desire to hang with much younger women – apparently thinking a younger woman makes us look virile rather than kind of stupid.   Personally I think such a relationship is somewhat delusional, simply because you don’t have a lot in common and some of the ugliest divorces I’ve witnesses are between an older guy and a girl young enough to be his granddaughter.  

Also, we tend to have a shorter lifespan so when you get into this age group, if you are a guy, the choices actually improve but if you are a woman the opposite seems to be true.   So Stewart, who is between boyfriends, likely is seeing some guys in her income group that really want someone younger or who aren’t in her income group which are intimidated by her. And, I expect, if she sees a guy that likes the idea of a woman with more power and is fine with being subservient she isn’t that attracted to him likely because he has mommy issues. As in he wants one.     

This doesn’t mean there isn’t someone for her, just that finding him will literally be like a digging up a rusting needle in a haystack and the rust part means she doesn’t have unlimited time. On the other hand, she is a celebrity so every attempt runs the risk of being picked up by media and opening her to ridicule. So this isn’t an easy problem and Match.com may not be truly up to the task.  

Cell Phone Match Making

What LTE Direct does is allow two phones in close proximity to share information if the right conditions are met. Let’s say, for example, Martha Stewart had been really good with her profile on Match.Com and she went to a Mixer. Assuming all the phones had this technology they’d begin communicating with each other and when there was a profile match both parties would see a picture of the other on their phone and be given the opportunity to engage. If agreed, personal information would be exchanged and the first conversation would be less about finding areas of common interest and more about exploring them together.  

Granted I think, for the guys, there might initially be a bit of a panic (OMG what am I going to say to fricken Martha Stewart?!?) but if they can get over that then the initial risk of first contact is kept private until both parties agree to meet. Now one can walk over to the other for a dance or chat knowing, because this had already been agreed, that the answer to a chat, dance, or something more private had been agreed and any rejection stayed on the phone remaining private. Granted, the last point kind of depends on the candor of both parties because, should Martha Stewart shout out “OMG Do You SEE That Dork Over There, the One in the blue jacket, he thought he could date me,” things would indeed end badly. Remember, if you are a guy, wek, that paranoia you get in your teens from similar experiences (you all had these right?) lasts a long time.    

But because the process is phone to phone and not over the web, unless one of the parties does something like I noted above, the entire exchange is kept private and away from the public and Paparazzi eye. Very important for a celebrity though the guy, even if he chickens out, will have a story he can share for the rest of his life as one of the few legitimate owners of the “I dated Martha Stewart” T-Shirt. 

Wrapping Up:  Applied Technology

With a lot of the technologies being invented for smartphones, one of the things that seems to be missing often is a compelling use case. Meaning, most of us use a fraction of the technology available to us in these devices. In a few short months we’ll have cell phones that can analyze our golf swings, can keep us away from dangerous situations, can remain (via inductive charging) always charged, and remotely control most everything in our lives. But without that compelling use case many of us won’t learn them much as we just use a fraction of the technology in our phones today.  

Qualcomm’s LTE Direct could not only help you get dates with women and men that are more likely to turn into meaningful relationships, but they could warn you if your boss or mother-law was close by. It could tell you if you are in a room with a lot of your Facebook Friends or tell you that the person you took out a restraining order on has violated that order and is approaching. From avoiding people to making new friends, Qualcomm’s LTE Direct is just one of a ton of new technologies Qualcomm is planning to revolutionize the market with.