Toy Aston Martin leaves car enthusiasts shaken, not stirred

Gaydon, England – Luxury car maker Aston Martin has rather improbably teamed up with Toyota to produce a diminutive commuter car.

Obviously bored with waiting for the recession to end before they can get back to making proper cars, Aston Martin engineers have turned their attention to turning a sow’s ear into a silk purse by pimping up a Toyota iQ town car with some slices of dead cow and a stick-on badge.

Aston’s new luxury commuter concept is aptly dubbed the Cygnet, which music lovers will remember was the subject of the classic song, The Ugly Duckling.

The company says the Cygnet will ‘offer Aston Martin trademark design in a commuter car package based on the critically acclaimed Toyota iQ which will offer customers a distinctive, intelligent and exclusive solution for urban travel in style and luxury.’

Aston Martin Chief Executive, Dr Ulrich Bez said: “Now is the right time for Aston Martin to take this first bold step to embark on this special project – made possible with the support of an organisation of Toyota’s stature and capability and the intelligent design and perfect city car package of the iQ.

“Much work is still required, but I am confident that this project could become reality in the not too distant future. This concept – akin to an exclusive tender to a luxury yacht – will allow us to apply Aston Martin design language, craftsmanship and brand values to a completely new segment of the market.

“The offering of a Cygnet with a DBS, DB9 or Vantage is a unique combination of opposites and a novel transport solution allowing intelligent and sensitive mobility on an exclusive and innovative level,” adds Bez, one-time dancer with the Happy Mondays.

Reading between the lines there suggests that the ghastly little vehicle will be offered as an amusing accessory to proper Astons rather than sold in its own right, meaning that Aston owners will be spared the embarrassment of being ridiculed by their friends.

Up to 5,000 Cygnets could be produced each year with an estimated price tag of around $30,000. No launch date has been set.

Aston Martin, once the car manufacturer of choice to James Bond, adds that ‘the Cygnet represents a creative, environmentally conscious solution, being small, yet with presence and highly fuel efficient, now combined with the prestige of Aston Martin’s luxury brand ownership’. It is unlikely to be offered with machine guns and an ejector seat as options.

But looking on the bright side, it could have been much, much worse – Aston could have instead chosen the smug eco-weenies’ transport of choice, the appalling Toyota Prius as the basis for its pointless styling exercise.

I’ll stick with the Jag, thanks.