Tomorrow is World Environment Day: BP vomits

United Nations’ WED 2010 promises activities around the globe. Fish drink crude oil aperitifs at party.

Saturday June 5, 2010 is supposed to be a worldwide celebration of positive action for the environment. That’s nice. You can do all kinds of things to make it a special day. Stay in bed an extra hour and think of a name for a gorilla. Gus doesn’t count and neither does Magilla or Kong or Fuzzy.

Other things that you can do on this day to show your support:


  1. Save water by not shaving, bathing, or flushing, or all of the above.
  2. Plant a tree. It doesn’t have to be a great tree like an oak or an elm. It could be a sucky tree like a fir or a creepy one like the red maple.
  3. If the bagger at the grocery store says, “Paper or plastic?” Slap them hard and call them an insensitive bastard.
  4. Don’t eat anything that might go extinct if you do.
  5. Don’t tell your friends you are celebrating WED 2010 because they will think you are total tree hugger and a hippie and an environmental extremist.
  6. If you are at work, encourage recycling. Repurpose your boss as something useful like a bathroom attendant at a Metallica concert.
  7. Hug that cute girl with a nose ring who works at Peets. She loves the environment and you love her.

There are way more suggestions here. Yes, you could try and help clean up the mess made by British Petroleum, but that’s going to be sooooooo hard and not anywhere near as fun as naming a gorilla.

And don’t forget to write up your day’s experiences in your hemp journal.