Banned Four Loko energy drink now powers cars

Four Loko, the blend of alcohol, caffeine, and what tastes suspiciously like antifreeze, has often been described as “motor oil” by those who have had the pleasure of drinking it.

But now the nickname has taken on a new reality as one company will actually be using the FDA-banned product as car fuel.

MXI Enterprises, the corporation responsible for recycling ethanol into fuel told the Associated Press that it will be adopting a “couple of hundred truckloads” of the banned liquid and reformulating it into car fuel.

By transforming Four Loko into a less caffeinated and far less awesome product, the company will then distill the alcohol and sell it to companies to mix into fuel. 

To the disappointment of Loko fans and college students everywhere, the product will be rendered undrinkable at that point.

The company also plans to recycle the cans and cardboard cases used to previously store Four Loko. Of course, fans aren’t quite sure whether this is a nice way to remember the old Four Loko, or if it’s a desecration of the infamous brand name.

The product has gained somewhat of a cult following since being banned by the FDA in December of 2011.

Students and party animals nationwide bought mass quantities of the product through Ebay black market listings and obscure liquor store excursions to stock up on the product before the ban went into effect.

Sadly, the last remaining quantities of the good stuff will be turned into car fuel.

New supplies of the product will be reformulated to contain less lethal product by removing the caffeine, guarana and taurine. 

The FDA hopes that by removing three of the four “lokos” it will minimize the taste of shame and regret left in the mouths of those who drank the (now) contraband liquid.