Girls just want to have fun…with Glo!?

Yes, like Cyndi Lauper once said, girls just want to have fun! But do they need Glo to do it?

Let us, dear reader, pretend just for a moment that the online publishing industry isn’t facing an uphill battle. And let us ignore the grotesque spectacle of income-hungry websites competing over an ever-dwindling revenue stream like starving birds fighting over crumbs of stale bread.

Yes, why not?

MSN, Hachette Filipacchi Media US and BermanBraun seem to have thrown their perfumed caution to the wind with the launch of yet another “lifestyle” site which purportedly focuses on style, beauty, living and relationships.

Puh-lease! Like the intrepid female sex needs even more websites hawking bad advice, expensive jewelry, skin care products and patronizing, yet painfully embarrassing top ten lists.

Wait, but it gets even better! Just listen to this:

“Glo provides users with everyday inspiration and practical ways to attain their best life,” MSN claims in press release that reads more like a badly crafted piece of Soviet-era propaganda than a tech-oriented pitch.

“It combines the imagery and feel of a magazine with the appeal of a dynamic site such as WONDERWALL, to offer an online destination that is neither traditional Web nor print, but a unique escape for women on the Web.”

Hmmm…What, exactly are women escaping from on the Internet? A nefarious male patriarchy? Cheating husbands? Clueless boyfriends? Jealous girlfriends? Sexist and patronizing corporate mind****s?

And what about porn? Can the glorious temptations of the flesh be found on Glo?  

Oh, wait, no, no it can’t. But here is what you can look forward to instead: 

“Glo presents its topics daily with a fresh and in-the-know perspective, filled with glossy, full-screen photo galleries, videos and unique features.

“Glo features original content from its editorial team, HFM U.S. properties, MSN properties and relevant content from popular lifestyle sites including Sugar/Sugar Entertainment, LimeLife, Modelinia, Remodelista and more.” 

Well, we probably shouldn’t be shocked at all by the lack of intelligent articles in Glo, because MSN has decided that women spend “more time online” causally perusing lifestyle content than any other category. 

Uh huh. Thanks but no thanks! I think I’d rather read the “SCUM Manifesto” by Valerie Jean Solanas. 
No offense to Andy Warhol, of course.