‘Leave your iPhone in your pocket,’ says Apple

Cupertino, California – Apple has started issuing fashion advice to its users. “Try wearing different clothes,” it says. “Try clothes with natural fibers”. It even recommends using hand lotion.

The reason, it seems, is that your dad was absolutely right when he said that your music was a shock to the ears. Apple has felt it necessary to warn users of its iPod and iPhone devices that in very dry or windy conditions they are liable to get zapped by their earphones.

The problem is static – and Apple stresses that it could happen with all sorts of devices, not just its own. It’s the same phenomenon that gives you a shock if you walk across a nylon carpet and then touch a metal doorknob.

But the company is keen to help, and has plenty of useful tips. In some of the best advertising we’ve ever seen, it warns, “Avoid removing your device from your pockets frequently”.

The fashion tips come courtesy of the fact that if you’re low-class enough to wear man-made fibers, this can build up a charge.

The advice follows rumblings from users on the company’s support site. “I get a small shock in my right ear only when I am on the treadmill at the gym. Really weird!” said one user. “As I use to walk from station to office with fur coat, it was difficult to have earbuds, each time I use to get shock in ears, the songs I use to play use to stop and some odd sound use to come,” complained another.