iPhone is rubbish – give me POTS or die

They say that the iPhone is fantastic. They say the applications are great. They say all sorts of stuff about the iPhone. But give me the Plain Old Telephone System (POTS) any time.

Catch a stagecoach.

Consign the iPhone to history and send the iPod into a deep coma. Better still, flush it down the toilet and retire to the restroom. Who wants to be connected everywhere all the time anyway? The plain old telephone system allied to a conventional hi-fi system that doesn’t have an iPod dock has many advantages over all this new fangled stuff.

First, you don’t have to appear rude in company by not only donning white earplugs and tapping away and tilting away at another device you’re holding in your hands.

You can hear your POTS ring and decide not to answer it. Make sure you don’t have an answer phone or use any digital features because that will make you reliant on always being connected.

Catch a stagecoach and use a postage stamp.

Don’t always be connected. Put a long playing record (LP) on your turntable, or even better crank up your gramophone if you can find the needles and listen to some really high fidelity sounds – such as Bing Crosby, Al Martino or Perry Como.

Go out without your cellphone or your sound device and start talking to people. Perhaps you could go down the pub, preferably a traditional British pub like the Rose and Crown in North Parade, Oxford, where you get kicked out if you boot up a  cellphone and fiddle with your devices and don’t talk to the community. Or the Grapes in Maentwrog, North Wales, where stagecoaches still arrive of a Wednesday afternoon.

Catch a stagecoach and use a postage stamp.

Get off Facebook, don’t Twitter, don’t listen to music on a memory device and begin to live your life. You’ve only got one, according to many religions. So get on with it.

Oh and stick with a cathode ray television (CRT) while you’re at it. You know it makes sense.

* Stagecoach pictures courtesy Andrew Thomas and his copyright.