Facebook will not let you doing anything without Facebook

The Internet’s mega-church for self-worshipers is adding restaurant reservation service OpenTable and TV listings to its mobile services. No one knows what this means in the big scheme of things, but it feels ever so world controlling so, we have to tell you about it because, you are likely to miss it if you use Facebook yourself. Because, you are hating on your old High School girlfriend, who recently Friended you, and it seems she was never punished by God for all the horrible things she did to you all those years ago.

But seriously, folks, you remember AOL? It was kind of like Facebook but it was less annoying because there wasn’t so much sharing involved. And all those installation disks are now protecting the nation’s coffee tables from coffee cup stains. Facebook has nothing to save your table. Nothing that you can wear or turn into cheap jewelry. It does, however, like AOL, have a grip on a whole lot of people on the Interwebs.

And it is slowly beginning to own their every action. A closed garden of services. Just like AOL. Is anyone getting this?

This is the official word from Facebook’s Blog:

Each month, more than 800 million people access Facebook on a mobile device. And today we’re announcing two updates to mobile Pages launching later this week that will expand the useful features and relevant information Pages provide.

Reserve Tables through Mobile Restaurant Pages

Using their mobile devices, people will be able to book tables via Facebook Pages for restaurants. The update represents a new way of discovering and booking great dining experiences, all within the Facebook mobile app. There’s no need to visit a separate mobile site or open a separate app.

The new feature will be available on the Facebook mobile Pages for more than 20,000 OpenTable restaurant customers across North America.

Listings on TV and Movie Pages

Finding shows and movies on TV is getting easier as well. For people that use iOS, Facebook will display TV listing information on US primetime TV and movie Pages. Listings will be based on your current time zone and include the channel name, air time and a description of the show or movie playing, meaning that the listings that exist in cable box guides, magazines and newspapers are now conveniently located on the Facebook Pages of peoples’ favorite shows.

Millions of people are visiting TV and movie Pages on Facebook every day, especially on mobile. Providing listings information on Facebook offers timely and relevant information about the media content people care about most.

For businesses benefitting from these updates to mobile Pages, both the OpenTable and TV listing features will update automatically; there’s no additional signup or registration required.