Sperm bank for vain people created

A new, virtual sperm and egg bank has been created, enabling really, really shallow people to breed.

In a world where giant pandas get all the help they could wish for, the hopelessly vain and superficial are too often – and so cruelly – left to fend for themselves.

But now, dating site BeautifulPeople.com has stepped into the breach.

“Every parent would like their child to be blessed with many fine attributes, attractiveness being one of the most sought after,” explains managing director Greg Hodge, brushing his flowing locks from his azure eyes.. 

“For a site with members who resemble Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Angelina Jolie, you can imagine the demand.”

To use the service, members register and state their ‘procreation interests’.  Presumably, there’s a translation for those that can only cope with one-syllable words.

Men wanting to donate will be put in touch with a local clinic, and if necessary wheeled there in a stroller. Apparently, lots have expressed interest already.

Member James Frederiksen is delighted by his own loveliness, and is kind enough to want to spread the joy. “Being a BeautifulPeople.com member, I wanted to do whatever I could to help others create beautiful babies,” he says.

Already, says Hodge, over 600 babies have been born to couples who met through the dating site.

As far as we’re aware, though, the company has not yet started a second-hand section where clients can exchange last year’s accessory for one in the new season’s colours.