Please don’t make these movies in 3D

Yeah, sure, movie-lovers are clamoring for 3D versions of Iron Man in 3D, along with virtually every movie that has “Star” in its title, or Keanu Reeves in its credits.

At the same time, they must be begging film-makers to let lie any flick that features gooey stuff spewing from human orifices; cross-dressing, large-breasted men; or Shirley Maclaine.

Here are three of the top 11 “Movies You Don’t Want in 3D,” compiled by

Jackass: The Movie

When I tossed this one around the office I was told that, in fact, Jackass 3 is coming this year in 3D. Say it isn’t so.

Terms of Endearment

We took a poll at the office and it’s official: movie goers would rather watch projectile vomit (Exorcist) and mash-potato-spewing (Animal House) in 3D, than endure crocodile tears dripping into their living rooms.

Runner up: Beaches

Female Trouble

It’s a toss-up, but we decided Female Trouble would be more disturbing to watch in 3D than John Waters’ other famous Divine flick, Pink Flamingos. It’s the trampoline scene. There’s something very wrong about a chubby man with big hair and giant ta tas bouncing into your living room.

Check out eight more 3D no-nos.