Mac users cast into outer darkness

A new e-Bible is only available to members of the Church of Redmond.

Followers of the Cult of Apple are reeling in disbelief as the publishers of a new electronic Bible say it will only be available to Windows users. And in a more radical move, online updates will also be made available. We’re not entirely sure when the last update to the Bible was made, but it has to be about 1,500 years ago, so don’t hold your breath for the next one.

Glo is a snip at just $89.99 and launches today. But only in the US. And only in English. Mac users and everyone else on the planet will have to rely on the old paper version. Without updates.

And in another surprising move, Glo can only run on individual PCs. Network installs are right out, calling into question the very concept of omnipresence. And a certain lack of faith in the power of prayer is indicated by the provision of an online helpdesk for users experiencing problems, at least during normal East Coast business hours, Monday through Friday.

The Chosen System requirements include Windows 7, Vista or XP and a dual core processor (mandatory), although our limited knowledge of all things religious would suggest that a tri-core chip might sit more comfortably with the basic tenets of Christianity.

We’ll stick with the Lolcat Bible.