Jessica Biel eyes Total Recall reboot

The lovely Jessica Biel has reportedly been offered one of two main female roles in the upcoming “Total Recall” reboot.

According to Variety, Biel auditioned for the coveted role along with a number of A-list actresses, including Eva Green, Eva Mendes and Paula Patton.

Although it is unclear which part Biel will play, she apparently tried out for the role of the feisty and sultry Melina (aka Rachel Ticotin), who helped the enigmatic Douglas Quaid (aka Arnold Schwarzenegger) free Mars way back in the 90s.

The other female lead is that of Quaid’s (now Colin Farrell) secret-agent wife Lori, who was originally played by the very sexy Sharon Stone. 

The “Total Recall” reboot is expected to radically differ from the original feature film, as it will more closely follow the novel “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” written by the acclaimed sci-fi author Philip K. Dick.

“It’s closer to the book, the big different is we don’t go to space,” explained producer Neal Moritz.

“Instead of it being a spaceship that takes us to another planet, there’s something that takes us from one side of the plane to another that’s really interesting.”

Sure, we all know that Biel is smokin’ hot and all, so don’t get me wrong. But does she have what it takes to play Melina – who is admittedly, er, a little rough around the edges?

Based on the original film, I would say absolutely not.

Then again, I do have to concede the cult classic is being rebooted, and as part of that, the roles are obviously (radically?) reinterpreted.

Yet, I’m not sure I would feel comfortable with Biel taking on the role of Lori either.

Sharon Stone did a (literally) kick-ass job of portraying the classic femme fatale, and I am loath to imagine another actress taking her place.

Of course, that is the age-old problem with reboots.

The actors of an original film achieve archetypal status in our minds, making anyone else playing the role a sad disappointment.

I mean, can you imagine a Star Wars reboot of the original trilogy?

Who would take on the role of Han Solo, for example? Princess Leia? Lando Calrissian?

No one.

Well, OK, I admit I wouldn’t shed hot tears over Mark Hamil’s replacement, but he’s about the only one I could see ditching.

How about you?