Man claims he owns biggest US corporations

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA – A man filed a case in a Southern California district court and laid right to the ownership of a stack of American companies by using Chinese divination system the I Ching.

Yes, really.

Shreepriya Gopalan is suing – ready for this – Microsoft, Wells Fargo, Chase Bank, Cable TV Network, CNN, NBC, ABC. Food Network, Toon, AMC, General Electric, McDonalds, Starbucks, Subway, Yahoo, Google, Sony, Capital One, Pfizer, Novell, Nordstrom, Macys, Saks Fifth Avenue, Chipotle, Noodles and Company, Taco Bell, Olive Garden, Burger King, KFC, Wendys, Dennys, Delta Airlines, Walmart, Sears, Pepsi, Coca Cola, Hersheys, Apple, Verizon, Cigna, AT&T, Dell, IBM, Accenture, Philips, Jeromes Furniture, Harpo Productions, Warner Brothers, Time Warner Cable, Tiffany & Co, Loreal, Ritz Carlton Hotels, ZipLip Inc, Trinuc LLC, Mascon Global, Encore Capital Group, Codonics and Enterprise Business Solutions, but not Intel, on the most unusual of grounds.

Says Gopalan: “The defendants named above do not have any legal authorization or Business License to perform their business at any location in the US or internationally.”

Further, he claims most of these companies do not have any executives, and the executives associated with these names don’t exist.

He continues: “I declare that I am the true Business Owner of every one of these Companies named as defendants above.”

And how? “These companies were I Chinged in through a metaphysical layer created and owned by me.”  He says all products and services sold by the companies above were invented by his creative thinking. “They got I Chinged to be sold in stores.”

A poignant note adds: “Unfortunately, I do not have the necessary documents that can prove that I am indeed the Business Owner. The reason for this is a tragedy that must be reckoned with and that must be rectified by all and sundry.”

He said that he is a computer engineer and invented the I Ching when he was 15 or 16 because of his “overworked and curious brain one night”.

The poor guy is obviously rather disturbed. He has filed the court case under a provision in the US courts that allows someone with no money to begin a case. There’s no doubt this case will be thrown out very quickly indeed.