So, like, when we were really young, like ten, we watched Star Wars and we thought it was just awesome. Then, like, we were not ten anymore and we saw The Phantom Menace and we realized how much Star Wars really, really sucked.
Then, we got into The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King, and the whole trilogy and we realized that we would rather make out with Liv Tyler than Carrie Fisher any day and that George Lucas was a money grubbin’ whore while Peter Jackson was just a thin geek in a fat artist’s body, and everything was right with the world.
Now, we are so, like, so excited because The Lord of the Rings Trilogy is out on Blu-Ray. Sure, we don’t own an HD television, but we don’t care because now we have a reason to buy one, or steal one, depending on whichever option is cheaper and whether my sister’s dumb-ass husband takes them to Palm Springs next weekend leaving the house unattended and everyone knows the security system is broken and no one is going to repair it until January.
Anyhow, we may still get an HD television but the Blu-Ray trilogy has to wait until April 6th and it isn’t the extended version. No, it’s the version you saw at the movies which means there just isn’t enough of the damn thing to see! But we will buy it as soon as it comes out and buy the extended version when it comes out the next time Peter Jackson needs money but he will never be a money grubbin’ whore the way George was because he will always live in New Zealand and everyone knows that there are no rich people in New Zealand.
Just magic mountains and orcs.